Thursday, July 7, 2011

Let's create love and believe with heart wide open


Girl in pink dress in front of house

Late 40's in the county side of Puerto Rico. Photo taken by Tom Lehman  

It's Thursday morning 10:30am sitting at a coffee shop in Ocean Park PR writing. Here I am living in Puerto Rico  with my sweet heart George, Brook my dog and Sammy the cat.  

I love this photo! Yesterday night I was looking through these old photos on Flickr and saw this one. The photo reminds me when I was once a young girl visiting my grandmother in Guayama PR.  The beauty, the simplicity, the humbleness and innocence. Taking a memory stroll of the past gave me comfort. I wanted to feel, to remember the essence and beauty of my island and not think about the chaos that Puerto Rico is under at the moment due to being unemployed, drugs and domestic Violence. Yes it is a reality and I wish people could handle this crisis a different way instead towards each other. And I would love to do something about it but what? Is the question. What can I do? And I realize while I'm going through some major anxiety myself due to life changes and not smoking for a month and two weeks. The only thing I can do is focus and channel my feelings with painting and deliver positive messages through my paintings and share it with the world. The only way to deal  is to move forward, to keep going, to create. That even though the world outside seems to be falling apart and that also means everywhere, we all must keep going, believe and have the faith. And do what we love to make a difference. 

Yesterday I went to the beach after finishing a set of bracelets and had a virgin pina colada  and sat getting ready to write down my thoughts. The man who prepared the drink and spoke great English started talking about the negativity of Puerto Rico due to the economy, the government, theft and so on. And how foreigners are moving invading the island. He went on and on and on. And knowing that I recovering slowly from panic and anxiety, the last thing I want to hear is negativity. My heart started beating fast and doubt came in thinking , did we made a mistake coming here. I could not stop thinking. I wanted to run and I finally left. I went home and took breathing exercises. I never been so scared like this before and I ask myself why now! I was always aware about the dangers but to feel this dramatically frighten felt strange unrealistic. I bought a book on how to calm yourself when suffering from a panic and anxiety attack. Meditating breathing creating walking on the beach with my dog, talking to my hubby , connecting with friend and family helps a great deal!!!! Anxiety is a horrible feeling. Well hope I did not bore you guys! I will open my store Saturday afternoon!

I miss being here creating talking and sharing with all of you! 
Let's create love and believe with heart wide open


6 comments:

  1. I too suffer from (chronic?) anxiety, and it's hard. But drawing and painting help me! Sorry to hear you had an attack, but maybe it's just a natural reaction to your change in circumstances/moving? Hope you feel calmer soon! ~ Sara

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  2. Oh my Magaly. I hope you get over your anxiety attacks. Just give it a little time and see what happens. You always have the option of coming back, right? Good to see you and look forward to your creativity.

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  3. I have a beautiful wonderful friend who lives in PR most of the time. I will get her address and if you are not too far apart maybe you could get together...she has blessed my life again and again. here's my email if you would like to send me your address.

    maryefreeman@hotmail.com

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  4. Oh, please try to overcome the4 anxiety you are feeling. Painting, books, whatever it may take do all of it. Your waiter was a bit of a J---. Some people just don't know when to shut up. I am praying for you and hope that some of your beautiful art work will calm you down.

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  5. I am so happy to see a post from you! I totally understand how you could have a panic attack. You are so brave to pick up and move. I am in awe. I once thought that I was having heart problems but instead it was anxiety. I now try to remember to make myself calm and take very slow and very deep breathes. Myabe next time don't have a virgin marguerita!. Some tequila could take the edge off some of your stress! LOL!
    XOXO - CIndi

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  6. You are brave to make a change, and sometimes change brings on anxiety. I suffer form anxiety panic attacks and Breathing and taking life slow helps and finding a safe place to calm me down. hang in there sending hugs to you :O)

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