Thursday, July 7, 2011

Let's create love and believe with heart wide open

Girl in pink dress in front of house

Late 40's in the county side of Puerto Rico. Photo taken by Tom Lehman  

It's Thursday morning 10:30am sitting at a coffee shop in Ocean Park PR writing. Here I am living in Puerto Rico  with my sweet heart George, Brook my dog and Sammy the cat.  

I love this photo! Yesterday night I was looking through these old photos on Flickr and saw this one. The photo reminds me when I was once a young girl visiting my grandmother in Guayama PR.  The beauty, the simplicity, the humbleness and innocence. Taking a memory stroll of the past gave me comfort. I wanted to feel, to remember the essence and beauty of my island and not think about the chaos that Puerto Rico is under at the moment due to being unemployed, drugs and domestic Violence. Yes it is a reality and I wish people could handle this crisis a different way instead towards each other. And I would love to do something about it but what? Is the question. What can I do? And I realize while I'm going through some major anxiety myself due to life changes and not smoking for a month and two weeks. The only thing I can do is focus and channel my feelings with painting and deliver positive messages through my paintings and share it with the world. The only way to deal  is to move forward, to keep going, to create. That even though the world outside seems to be falling apart and that also means everywhere, we all must keep going, believe and have the faith. And do what we love to make a difference. 

Yesterday I went to the beach after finishing a set of bracelets and had a virgin pina colada  and sat getting ready to write down my thoughts. The man who prepared the drink and spoke great English started talking about the negativity of Puerto Rico due to the economy, the government, theft and so on. And how foreigners are moving invading the island. He went on and on and on. And knowing that I recovering slowly from panic and anxiety, the last thing I want to hear is negativity. My heart started beating fast and doubt came in thinking , did we made a mistake coming here. I could not stop thinking. I wanted to run and I finally left. I went home and took breathing exercises. I never been so scared like this before and I ask myself why now! I was always aware about the dangers but to feel this dramatically frighten felt strange unrealistic. I bought a book on how to calm yourself when suffering from a panic and anxiety attack. Meditating breathing creating walking on the beach with my dog, talking to my hubby , connecting with friend and family helps a great deal!!!! Anxiety is a horrible feeling. Well hope I did not bore you guys! I will open my store Saturday afternoon!

I miss being here creating talking and sharing with all of you! 
Let's create love and believe with heart wide open

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